mind control
We all want shit; half the time we wish we didn't; so ladies and gentlemen. Fair people of the land. I have a solution.
Get it.
It may just be me (because in a world of 1millionzillion, that's the only logical outcome), but I find that no matter how badly I want something, the best remedy is actually getting it.
Example: I reallllllly wanted a new camera. Eppy keen. As soon as I got the cash moneys, I reevaluated the situation and "Na oi, don't even want a camera. Way rather have like 3 new refill pads, a paintbrush (wtf did I need a paintbrush for) and some gum"
Dick
And yes you (all the trillions of you) guessed it. The second I spent the cash moneys (Or card moneys. Jess... Shut up) I was all "Arghhhh woe is my life, I want a camera.".
Dick
I have no wise advice. You probably thought I did. You probably saw the title 'EppyLegit' and thought, shit... Bet she's got all the answers.
I don't.
15 spaces down and you're still here.
Needy.
Get it.
It may just be me (because in a world of 1millionzillion, that's the only logical outcome), but I find that no matter how badly I want something, the best remedy is actually getting it.
Example: I reallllllly wanted a new camera. Eppy keen. As soon as I got the cash moneys, I reevaluated the situation and "Na oi, don't even want a camera. Way rather have like 3 new refill pads, a paintbrush (wtf did I need a paintbrush for) and some gum"
Dick
And yes you (all the trillions of you) guessed it. The second I spent the cash moneys (Or card moneys. Jess... Shut up) I was all "Arghhhh woe is my life, I want a camera.".
Dick
I have no wise advice. You probably thought I did. You probably saw the title 'EppyLegit' and thought, shit... Bet she's got all the answers.
I don't.
15 spaces down and you're still here.
Needy.
Worlds 3 biggest conversational dick moves
-You:"I hate that"
Other:"Oh I think it's okay"
You:"Yeah same"
-"Omg did you here that 1 is pregnant to 2 and 3 is cheating on 4 with 5 :o"
"Where'd ya hear that?"
"6 told 7 who text it to 8 who facebooked it to 9 who told me.../I read her facebook"
-"That's just my opinion...(my opinion's fact bitch. Step off)"
-You:"I hate that"
Other:"Oh I think it's okay"
You:"Yeah same"
-"Omg did you here that 1 is pregnant to 2 and 3 is cheating on 4 with 5 :o"
"Where'd ya hear that?"
"6 told 7 who text it to 8 who facebooked it to 9 who told me.../I read her facebook"
-"That's just my opinion...(my opinion's fact bitch. Step off)"
At the risk of sounding deep ("Oh wow Jess you're so sensitive"), I often wonder if I know what I think I know. ("Shit Jess. You're like Ghandi"........ stop talking to yourself. Dick)
For example. I know I'm a social chameleon. Just chillin with peeps. Changing certain aspects as to not scare the natives. But am I? While I think I'm being some kind of modern day smooth criminal, my respective peers are more than likely thinking one of the following.
-Why is this bitch still here...
-Why is she all up on me like Lafwanda.
-So I take it security's having a day off.
-Mmm gurrrrl. Fo sho shawtay. I'm feelin yal
Here's a hint. It's not the last one.
It's like when you hear the chess captain say "Oh yeah you guys know how loud I am". Bitch, please. Or the real 'individual' (I'm so unique it hurts inside... Ahhh woe is my life) 12 year old's that write "I love life" on their Bebo page. Okay first, you can not love life and have a Bebo. Second, you're 12.
Question is, can we ever 'know' anything. (Shit is that you wise wise Buddha? Oh it's just Jess....)
Well I have no idea. I'd say majority of the time we're wrong though.
No real logic.
We're just not that smart.
For example. I know I'm a social chameleon. Just chillin with peeps. Changing certain aspects as to not scare the natives. But am I? While I think I'm being some kind of modern day smooth criminal, my respective peers are more than likely thinking one of the following.
-Why is this bitch still here...
-Why is she all up on me like Lafwanda.
-So I take it security's having a day off.
-Mmm gurrrrl. Fo sho shawtay. I'm feelin yal
Here's a hint. It's not the last one.
It's like when you hear the chess captain say "Oh yeah you guys know how loud I am". Bitch, please. Or the real 'individual' (I'm so unique it hurts inside... Ahhh woe is my life) 12 year old's that write "I love life" on their Bebo page. Okay first, you can not love life and have a Bebo. Second, you're 12.
Question is, can we ever 'know' anything. (Shit is that you wise wise Buddha? Oh it's just Jess....)
Well I have no idea. I'd say majority of the time we're wrong though.
No real logic.
We're just not that smart.
Cultural Jamming
If I hear one more thing... I'll culturally jam something in your.
Well.
I'm obviously too classy to finish that.
(Note to self. Stop telling such witty jokes)
Well.
I'm obviously too classy to finish that.
(Note to self. Stop telling such witty jokes)
Wisdom
So my names Jess. Short for Jessica, long for J. Not that anyone has ever in the history of my life called me J... It just sounded catchy at the time. Bad call on my part. Any way so my full name has 12 syllables. Thats over twice as many as the average, and 1 more than the computers at school will let me type. Would you like to know a fact? If not thats too bad. The initials of my 1st and last names spell JES. Thats one 's' away from Jess ('No shit. Hadnt noticed') which points out that although I have a habit of almost always almost getting there, wherever 'there' may be; I rarely do.
Old school
Have to be honest. I suck at plans. Well actually I rock at plans, I'm the plan queen. Make new ones all the time, 3 today in fact, some important, others really not.... Im just shit at actually keeping up with them. But no matter because I'm going to make a new one right now. (And the crowd goes wild...who am I kidding. Crowd...? Actual people? Shit you're witty Jess. Tell us another one.)
So 5 things in 10 years...
-I will be teaching or have taught in Detroit.
-I will have choreographed at least 28 dances, all of which performed by professional dancers
-I will have found the most rugged part of England and had a small taste of Skins life. Yes I will take part in a 'Skins Live' party. Obvi
-I will be happy as or at least have fully mastered the art of faking happiness so much that even I fall for it. Ultimate win
-I will have met Rhys Darby, Rove, Obama, Peter Jackson, Christian Siriano and Harry Potter himself. Not Radcliffe. He's a pansy
-I will get a life that does not involve Faceys.
-I will apologize for the blatant lie above.
-I will get a life that does not involve Faceys.
-I will apologize for the blatant lie above.
A bit of paranoia for a Wednesday night
Yeah you know.
Skanking it up.
It's you isn't it.
My post is about you.
You're reading this thinking "Ha. Nah".
But can you be sure?
This might be a cyber bitch...
A stab at you.
Yeah you know.
Skanking it up.
Skanking it up.
It's you isn't it.
My post is about you.
You're reading this thinking "Ha. Nah".
But can you be sure?
This might be a cyber bitch...
A stab at you.
Yeah you know.
Skanking it up.
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